Lotht a bet
by YonderB
Summary: A cracky drabblefic consisting of three short drabbles about Itachi, Deidara, Kisame and Sasori, after the little omake after episode eighteen of Naruto Shippuuden.
1. It starts

It all started from a little conversation between Deidara and Kisame about the mist-nin's partner: Uchiha Itachi. How did this conversation end? Let us see...

"He's very good looking," complimented Deidara, "Seem's like he'd be more popular with the ladies than you."

He was answered with silence.

Deidara looked over at Kisame who was sitting beside him. "Is something wrong?" Kisame usually didn't stop talking unless someone like Itachi told him to.

Kisame sat with his back to Deidara, head bowed, clearly, completely and _utterly_ depressed. "After all," the mist-nin mumbled, "I am strangely coloured..."

"That really bothers you, doesn't it?" stated Deidara flatly.

It took a few bribes, but Deidara got Kisame to start talking again, and they made a bet concerning how many women Itachi had '_gotten_'. Deidara and Kisame then migrated into the main living-room of the Akatsuki head-quarters, to find the Uchiha in question calmly standing by a window and observing a sparrow watch a line of ants that were marching across the windowsill.

Deidara stood a little further than an arms-length from the Uchiha. "Itachi?"

The Uchiha turned to him just as the sparrow started pecking furiously at the line of ants, and the insects scattered mindlessly.

"_Yes_?"

((TBC. This was inspired by that little omake-crack-thing at the end of episode eighteen of Naruto Shippuuden. The beginning scene was based on it, and... yeah. Two more drabbles to go.))


	2. It has a middle

Deidara observed the Uchiha for a moment, then, when he assessed that he was not in danger of dying a sudden and painful death, he continued. "Kisame and I made a bet. How many women have you '_had_'?"

The Uchiha tilted his handsome head slightly to one side, before righting himself. "In total, or on average?"

Deidara blinked sharply and took a hurried step forward in shock. "What? You're actually going to _tell _me?!"

Itachi gave a graceful shrug as if to say '_why not?_'.

Itachi was neither proud, nor embarrassed about his record with women, and didn't particularly care about telling anyone about it. It wasn't his weakness, nor anywhere _near_ his weakness, thus, it was merely useless information taking up space in his very important, yet slightly warped brain.

Deidara thought for a moment, then glanced back at Kisame, who had taken up residence in a smooshy leather couch in the corner. Kisame waved at him to do whatever he wished.

Deidara turned back to Itachi. "On average," answered the blonde.

"Seven per day, on average," Itachi answered simply, with no hesitation. Not even a blink.

Deidara's jaw dropped, then, after the shock had warn off, he clutched his head, stamped his feet, and let out something that sounded like a '_THTOOPID WOMEN!_' before stomping the hell out of there.

Kisame smirked from his place on the couch. "That was an average from your childhood, wasn't it?" he asked the Uchiha.

Itachi turned back to the ants and sparrow, which had turned into a very fat sparrow, and a very skittish surviving ants. "I blame Uruha."

"Who the hell is Uruha?"

"No one."

((TBC. None of you will know who Uruha is, because he's a character in the RP I do with my best friend. He's a womanizer, and an acquaintance –and irritant– of Itachi's. So, just act like Kisame and say "Who the hell is Uruha?" and then click the little arrow in the bottom right-hand corner. That's a good little minion:D))


	3. It has an end

Sasori sat on the floor of his and Deidara's room, fingers fiddling with a very delicate hidden weapon in one of his new puppets, teeth see-sawing his bottom lip in concentration.

"Thathori-no-danna?"

_Twang!_

A kunai whooshed strait past Sasori's ear from the weapon in his hands, rebounded off one of the walls, off the other one, and landed strait into Sasori's pillow on his bed, feathers exploding from the abused pillow to flutter back onto the bed like white rain.

"_What?!_" barked Sasori, turning to glare at his partner in the doorway, but he stopped short.

Deidara stood in the doorway, wearing nothing but a pink miniskirt, his hair up in pigtails, and two flowery earrings hanging from his ears.

"I lotht a bet." Deidara stated.

Sasori blinked in answering, his mouth agape.

"Kithame thead that Itachi'th '_got_' more than four women in a day on average, and I thead leth than four. I lotht."

Sasori blinked again.

"I hate it when Kisame maketh croth-drething joketh! Now it'th true! And I have to talk in a lithp too! That'th jutht _THTOOPID_! Can I hide in here until I can thtop wearing thith and thpeaking like thith?"

Because of the pleading look on Deidara's tanned face, and what Sasori could've sworn was lipgloss on his pouting lips, for the first time he had been a puppet, Sasori exploded into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, rolling about on his wooden back and laughing like he had not a care in the world, and if he had real tear-ducts, he would've been crying too.

When Deidara stamped his foot and shouted "Thtoppit, Thathori-danna!" it only made it worse.

((END. I do not doubt I have raped and destroyed your images and respect for these characters, and, i am sorry for that. Have a good day, and I do hope you can understand Deidara's lisp!))


End file.
